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Self love, why is it so hard?

In fear of sounding like a complete self-centered knob, here goes..

Self love and acceptance hasn’t come naturally to me, it has always been somewhat of a struggle. . .

I don’t remember ever feeling happy with my body. I was (and still am) also quite shy and just didn’t feel like a likeable person. It always mattered what people thought of me, a little too much probably!

During pregnancy is perhaps the only time I truly love and appreciate my body. To me, there is nothing more special than carrying and growing a new life. It is the most incredible feeling in the world. Body confidence hits peak for me when sporting a big baby bump!

I don’t know about you, but I think social media has a lot to answer for on the self esteem front. Instagram in particular (though I am a massive fan addict). I am well aware that nobody’s life is as perfect as it is portrayed on Instagram. I still however find myself subconsciously comparing every aspect of my life with others. My body, our house, what we eat, what I wear, what the kids wear, parenting and so on. It’s easy to get caught up in it all. We all want a piece of the picture perfect-ness.

However… Recently, for one reason on another, I appear to have turned a corner noticing a slight boost in my confidence. Hooray!

Maybe I’m learning to care less as I get older or maybe I am simply becoming more accepting of myself.

I have become a bit of a shopaholic in recent weeks so those new clothes and shoes in my wardrobe may well be helping to boost my confidence ;). Finally realising that sizing varies greatly from shop to shop and that it really doesn’t matter whether that tag says 10 or 14!

This body of mine has created (with a tiny ounce of help from Paul ;)) four perfect, healthy babies. These boobies may have seen better days but they fed and kept our babies alive and thriving (fully deserving of an extra special BIG 30th birthday present ( . Y . ) I feel). I may not have the time nor the energy at the moment to give my body the attention it so rightly deserves needs, but one day I will have all the time in the world. For now, Im content. I can live with the lumps and bumps and the cellulite and of course the tiger stripes…because without those I wouldn’t be where I am today.

I have no doubt that I will forever have body hang-ups, who doesn’t? But I am learning to be less critical of the things that can’t be changed.

From here on out I am going to try and focus on the interior and less so on the exterior. I want my mind, body and soul to be and feel happy and healthy. Is there anything more important than health and happiness?

I want to be a confident woman. Bold and fearless. I’m not entirely sure that it’s possible given the huge amount of anxiety I suffer from but you’ve gotta aim high, right?

We are always conscious of what we say around the kids in regards to body imagine and put great emphases on the fact that it’s whats on the inside that counts. It’s so true!

‘If only our eyes saw souls instead of bodies, how very different our ideals of beauty would be’

 

xxx

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